Saturday, July 26, 2008

My questions?

It's peaceful. I sit and eat breakfast to the sounds of a well-played french accordion floating from the speakers to my ears. Just me; sitting, eating, listening. Enjoying the tranquility of an unemployed kitchen. It's so perfect... or is it? What if it isn't perfect? What if I'm not 'greedy' enough to seek out more? That's okay then, isn't it? As long as I'm happy. Or at least, as long as I think I'm happy. How would I know? Maybe the monks have a point... living a life without attachment...? Being brought up in a materialistic world, would I be able to ever feel what they feel? Oh well, too late. It's alright, I'm happy... I think. Well, I like it this way, that I'm sure of. Now... how long can it last? Will I be doing the same in 5 years? Even 10? Sitting, eating, listening... contemplating?

speaking of my future... what will it be like? Will I be successful? What is 'success'? I suppose, for me, happiness = success. Will I still think the same later on? How would my drawings look then? They change every year, they get better every year... can I keep improving like that? I hope so... but even if they do, where would I go with them? Will I ever give up drawing...? I can't imagine that at this point in my life... I've been drawing throughout my life... what is life like without drawing? Wait. Why do I draw? Is drawing my life...? Is it like breathing, for me? Do I need it?

Needs. I need so many things... but why? I have them... and I need them... am I addicted? If that's how it works... then I'm addicted to friendship, or at least, positive human interaction. I use that term because I'm not sure what 'friendship' really means. Dictionary.com didn't help much either...
friend·ship
n.
1. The quality or condition of being friends.
2. A friendly relationship: formed many new friendships over the summer.
3. Friendliness; good will: a policy of friendship toward other nations.
3, would probably be the most helpful... for the other 2 you'd need to have interpreted a meaning to 'friend' for yourself, and me being the indecisive person I am, have not. Anyway, 3, 'good will'. So, a friend is a person you have 'good will' towards? Oh wait... it could also be a person who has 'good will' towards you... well, then 'friends' are people who wish each other well. It's easier if it's plural.

Could you answer any of my questions?


---EDIT:
~바보~ ღ says:
*starts reading lastest blog post*
~바보~ ღ says:
*stops reading latest blog post*
(tu) みねまる says:
nah dw
(tu) みねまる says:
I read over it after I finished writing
(tu) みねまる says:
and was like
(tu) みねまる says:
HAW SOUNDS SO EMO
(tu) みねまる says:
but I wasn't emo at all
(tu) みねまる says:
I was just thinking about stuff
so, yes! Don't worry if you got worried that I was going emo... because I'm not! (yet:P) Was merely thinking... and meeting a lot of tough questions.^_^;;

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happiness. Friendship. Success. Love. Everything means something different to someone. For me, a friend is someone I enjoy spending time with and who doesn't mind spending time with me. Someone I love is someone I want to share more of myself with and have them share more of themselves with me. Someone I am in love with is someone I can hold and feel like everything is at peace. Success would be happiness for me. Whether I'm rich or not doesn't matter. But anyway... all the questions you've asked can only be answered by you. and some of them only in time. You can't ever be sure you will be the same person tomorrow that you are today, because so many trhings, good or bad, can happen to change you forever. Just enjoy who you are right now ^^

Kimberly said...

hamm! you better not have turned emo ah...but don't worry! you'll figure the answer to ur thoughts one day! after all, doesn't everyone have to somehow worry about these things? =D

Ritzy said...

i need friendship

hi fives friend feng ^^

Pierre said...

i was going to write a good comment but then i just realised you had another blog before this so my mind drifted away.....

so many questions in life and not enough answers..

btw, i haven't seen you in ages girl!

Anonymous said...

hummm, this is sth quite hard to talk about ne. well what i can say is that, everyone will ask similar questions at some stage in their life (so yea you are not emo ne, daijobu ne)...and the answer is probably different for every single person.

i also worry about these things as well (sometimes even worse=__=;;). I sometimes imaging what my life would be like if I can't draw anymore =A=;. or if i didnt become successful in art and design and stuff...
but i think....i think, happiness will still come in different form, or through different things. like, i think i can still be happy about sth else. it can be my family, my friends, my future kareshi~, etc. (or maybe a piece of cake will do as well ^w^;;)

hummm, muzukashi~ ><;;. so i think i am saying, no matter what you do or become, your happiness mainly comes from how you see yourself and things around you (???)

heh, don worry if you don get it. its only helen's opinion desu =w=. anyways, hope that helped a bit... and I hope you cheer up ne ^^. Hayaku genki ni natte ne!